I’m tired. So very tired. This week, along with so many weeks before it, I’m feeling the stretch. The stretch in a million directions that all moms feel no doubt. So many things to do—that I want to do, enjoy doing, get excited about doing—and literally not enough time in the day/week/month to do it all. Add a few health issues into the mix (minor enough to not be “concerning,” but major enough to annoy me and kill my old habit of running daily), and I’m an endorphin-deprived, tired, overworked mompreneur. I have never been more thankful for under-eye concealer, coffee and hats to hide my severely underwashed hair.
I love being a mom. I love running a business. I love quality time with my husband and friends. But I also miss that feeling I used to feel all the time—what was it?—refreshed. I literally have not felt refreshed or rejuvenated or reinvigorated or anything remotely close to those feelings in over 2 years. I feel like my brain is shrinking. The fog is real, my friends.
Brian asked me recently why I don’t do long form writing anymore. The truth is, I used to be a writer. A published writer. Nothing too fancy or wild, but writing was something that I considered “my jam” and there was a season of my life when I dedicated a lot of time and energy to putting words to paper (and screen) to encourage, uplift, question and inspire. Those days have been behind me for a while, but I definitely miss them. My answer to Brian? Whether because of time constraints, sleep constraints or energy constraints, I literally do not have the capacity to write like that anymore.
Don’t get me wrong, I do have days where I am incredibly productive and inspired and on top of it all. I truly love what I am doing with my life. But those “on” days are few and far between and definitely not the norm, which they used to be. My intention for writing this is not to have a pity party, but rather to just let you all know that if you’re struggling to look good, feel good, and do good and feel like it’s all out of whack and falling apart at the seams, you’re not alone. Some days are better than others, and today I give you permission to just be okay with not being amazing at it all right now.